Breaking News & Top Stories

Real Estate

15 (Plus A Bonus) Dad Jokes Real Estate Agents Will Love

In these occasions, double down — in your abilities, in your data, on you. Be part of us Aug. 8-10 at Inman Join Las Vegas to lean into the shift and be taught from the most effective. Get your ticket now for the most effective worth.

It’s 1181 B.C.E., Aegean Sea. Odysseus, Greek hero of antiquity, devoted husband to Penelope, having been blown off beam in his valiant voyage again to Ithaca, made landfall in his ship, the Argo, upon the island of Cyclopes. Polyphemus, cycloptic son of Poseidon, captured Odysseus and his crew and commenced feasting upon them.

Odysseus, taken by the graveness of the scenario, had the strategic foresight to introduce himself to Polyphemus as “No person,” which got here in very helpful as shortly thereafter his crew labored to bind the enormous and blind him with a burning wood stake. 

“Assist me!” Polyphemus cried out to his fellow cyclops, “No person has blinded me!” … and due to that, no person got here to his support.

Strategic foresight? Sure, undoubtedly. However how did Odysseus suppose up this little bit of intelligent wordplay so readily below duress? Easy: Odysseus was a dad.

His son, Telemachus, would have been about 20 on the time and so clearly Odysseus was well-rehearsed within the artwork of the pun from his life as a dad earlier than his Odyssey started. So Odysseus’ tactical intelligence apart, I contend that that is additionally one of many first examples in recorded historical past of a completely strong dad joke.

In case you suppose that was a protracted method to go for a so-so punchline, tuck in …

Some 5 years in the past, society skilled a brand new Renaissance. It was round that point that “Dad Jokes” entered the lexicon, in addition to our collective consciousness. Beforehand often known as “groaners” or simply “unhealthy jokes,” these humorless bits of humor gained renown by means of their repetitious, usually tiresome overuse by your typical dad.

The Dad Joke burst into fashionable tradition. Dad Joke-A-Day calendars. Dad Joke posters. Dad Joke memes. Dad Joke compilation books. Dad Joke t-shirts. Dad Joke comedy nights. Dad Joke articles on Inman. Individuals leaned into it arduous, and what’s stunning is that dads shared the highlight of this linguistic reward with anybody and everybody; you didn’t need to be a dad to drop a foul dad joke. 

Living proof: I used to be as soon as ringing up at a comfort retailer whereas carrying my “Dad Jokes? I Suppose You Imply RAD Jokes” t-shirt, and the possibly 19-year-old cashier piped up and requested me if she might please inform me all of her favorites. The bottom leveled. It was a touching second of unity— centered fully on completely dumb wordplay — that transcended practically each social assemble.

And so it went for a few years.

However time has marched on, and society has slowed in its fervor for this type of pun-ishment. You possibly can nonetheless discover all of the merchandise, however curiosity has markedly waned and it looks like this phenomenon will develop into a factor of the previous; the Renaissance will develop into a then-aissance, as a result of folks have merely grown uninterested in the mighty dad joke.

However that’s the factor.

Any good dad joke has worn out its welcome lengthy earlier than the punchline ever emerges. The setup alone induces the groan. Anybody in earshot is aware of — and doesn’t wanna hear — what’s coming. However does that cease it? No sir, no it doesn’t.

Dad jokes are now not fashionable? Dads don’t care. We’re gonna inform them anyway. You don’t suppose they’re humorous? They by no means had been! To not you anyway — however they’re humorous to us, and that’s all that issues.

And so it’s, and so it shall all the time be; the dad joke in all ages shall be inflicted upon you and me.

So, although you’re uninterested in them, we’re not remotely uninterested in telling them. And with that, listed below are 10 extra dad jokes excellent for Father’s Day.

Involved Mum or dad: My son has been consuming electrical cords. What do I do?

Dad: Floor him till he conducts himself correctly.

Little one: Daddy, do timber poop?

Dad: After all, that’s how we get quantity 2 pencils. 

Actual Property Agent Dad: This itemizing is nice, nevertheless it’s in all probability higher for cats.

Purchaser: What do you imply?

Agent Dad: It can take you 9 lifetimes to pay it off.

Linguist: “Pre-” means earlier than and “Publish-” means after. 

Dad: Utilizing each of these prefixes collectively can be preposterous!

Dad: Appears like there’s a giant sale down on the Lego retailer.

Little one: Oh actually? Can we go?

Dad: No. Individuals are lined up for blocks.

Actual Property Agent’s Dad: You higher be careful! That agent you beat within the gross sales competitors stated he’s coming for you.

Agent: Meh, I’m fairly positive I can take him.

Actual Property Agent’s Dad: I don’t know. He stated he flips homes in his spare time!

Dad: My first job was at an orange juice manufacturing unit. However I obtained canned.

Harmless Bystander: Sighhhh. Why?

Dad: As a result of I couldn’t focus.

Marine Biologist: Do you know that nice white sharks develop as much as 20 ft?

Dad: I don’t consider you. Sharks don’t have ft.

Actual Property Agent: They’re hoping for $500k for this condominium.

Dad: Okay obtained it. And what can be the condo-minimum they’d settle for?

Riddler: What’s the distinction between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a pointy dressed man on a bicycle?

Dad: Apparel.

Actual Property Agent Dad: I’ll promote something, however my bread’n’butter is listings with completed basements. 

Fellow Agent: Oh yeah? Why is that?

Agent Dad: They’re my finest cellars.

Dad: Did I ever let you know I met Bruce Lee’s vegan brother, Brocco Lee?

Good friend: Sighhhh…critically?

Dad: No. Critical Lee is Bruce’s different brother who can’t take a joke.

Property Supervisor: I’m failing at work due to my irrational worry of intricately clustered business buildings.

Psychologist (and Dad): Appears like you’ve a posh complicated complicated.

Zoologist: Do you know Peruvian owls hunt in pairs?

Dad: That’s as a result of they’re Inca hoots.

Property Supervisor: Did you hear that they had been unable to hire out the one remaining unit within the condo constructing?

Dad: Sounds prefer it was final however not leased.

Bonus Joke:

Way back in a distant jungle, there was a tribal king who lived in a grass hut the place he dominated from a golden throne. In the future, there got here a warning from his scouts that explorers had been en path to steal the throne. In an effort to guard it, the king stowed the throne on the roof of his hut and lined it with thatch.

The explorers arrived and looked for the throne to no avail. The king, pondering he was within the clear, had his guards start taking the throne down from the roof, however as they labored it slipped from its rigging, got here crashing down and killed the king. 

Proving as soon as once more that individuals who stay in grass homes shouldn’t stow thrones.

Join with Devon Broderick on LinkedIn.